BloodBank1 Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.
INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Medical equipment: a cot, a heart monitor, a rolling cart
with medical supplies. Clothing, the walls, everything is
white, white, white, with the exception of a large red
cross on one wall.
Lisa pats John's hand. John is nearly finished giving a
pint of blood, a needle still in one arm.
There, it's almost done. Giving
a pint of blood wasn't so
gruesome after all, was it?
With you holding my hand, it
wasn't so bad.
Lisa beams. A nurse enters and checks the needle.
So, how are we feeling?
Hanging in there.
Are we ready for that needle to
Okay. Hold still. There might
be a few drops of blood.
The nurse pulls out the needle and there's a little
continuous spurt of blood from John's arm.
Okay, we're all done!
It's just a little surface blood.
It'll coagulate in a minute or
two. Thanks for coming by.
Nurse, he's bleeding a lot!
Can't you help?
Let me refrigerate this blood bag
The nurse picks up the bag of blood and it falls apart in
her hands. John is soaked.
Goodness me. I'll have to file
an accident report.
The nurse goes to the rolling cart and pulls out a form.
The nurse holds the form close to her nose.
One moment, please.
The nurse jumps, pulling the paper across her throat.
The nurse's neck bleeds copiously! She staggers about and
blood goes everywhere.
Don't worry! You can't contract
HIV by giving blood!
An orderly staggers into the scene. He's carrying what
appears to be a white garbage can with a large red cross on
the side. He's having trouble balancing it.
Hey, where do you want this O
Go get the supervisor! Stat!
Okay... I'll go get him...
The orderly staggers under the weight of the can... who is
he going to drop it on? At last he runs quickly off stage
The supervisor enters. He's a Klingon in full battle
regalia. (Hey, this is UPN.)
I am the supervisor of this
hospital! Nurse, why have you
created this disturbance?
A little surface blood, Your
The nurse dies.
Sto'vo'qor! I cannot bear the
dishonor that you have brought
upon this hospital! I must
commit honorable Hegh'bat!
The supervisor pulls out a knife and slits his throat.
Blood spews... Pastel-pink blood! The Klingon collapses on
John's lap, clutching the knife to his chest.
Blood donation is...
The Klingon emits a death rattle and goes slack. John and
Lisa lean over him.
The Klingon comes back to life! He stabs John! John dies!
The supervisor stabs Lisa! Lisa dies! The Klingon dies!
An announcer in a nice suit enters and addresses us
The American Red Cross would like
to protest the previous sketch.
In fact, blood donation
facilities are sanitary,
professional and well organized.
And the need for blood is great --
on any given day, approximately
thirty-eight thousand units of
red blood cells are used, across
the United States. By donating
blood, you can save a life.
The orderly runs on stage with the huge can of blood! The
can ends up, upside-down, on the announcer's head!
MUSIC OUTRO - HOUSE BAND: "Chris de Burgh - Lady In Red"
FADE TO BLACK.
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.