"AMAZING DUDES"

                                                              FADE IN:

               EXT. GYMNASIUM - DAY
                THE CLANK OF THE FREE WEIGHTS INSIDE THE GYM, OVER THE
                TESTOSTERONE-FILLED BANTER OF THE GUYS INSIDE.

                                                               CUT TO:

               INT. LOCKER ROOM - DAY
                (BUCKY, FULLER, EXTRAS)

               A BUSY ROW OF GUYS AT LOCKERS IN THE DRESSING ROOM.  BUCKY
               AND FULLER WEAR SHOWER TOWELS.  THEY GEL THEIR HAIR, APPLY
               DEODORANT, AND FLEX THEIR MUSCLES.

                                   BUCKY

                      Dude!  Totally amazing workout!

                                   FULLER

                      Yeah!  Reminds me of me and Lisa

                      last night...

                                   BUCKY

                      Lisa?  Dude, no friggin' way!

                                   FULLER

                      Yeah, I took her back to the dorm. 

                      I'm not saying she spent the night,

                      understand?  I'm just saying she was

                      with me for a loooooong time.

                                   BUCKY

                      Dude!  That's totally amazing!  But

                      dude, do you remember Valerie?  With

                      the pool table?

                                   FULLER

                      Valerie?  Dude, no friggin' way!

                                   BUCKY

                      Yeah, dude!  Last night, her place,

                      eight ball in the corner pocket,

                      that's what I'm saying!

                                   FULLER

                      Rack 'em up!  Dude, that's totally

                      amazing!  But hey, you remember

                      Bridgette and Sophia?

                                   BUCKY

                      The Norwegian skiing twins?  Dude,

                      no friggin' way!

                                   FULLER

                      Yeah, dude!  I took those blondes to

                      Tahoe.  I gave them advanced

                      lessons!  We spent a lot of time...
                          (shapes curves with his
                           hands)

                      On the slopes!

                                   BUCKY

                      Poles and tips!  Dude, that's

                      totally amazing!  But dude, do you

                      remember that all-female a cappella

                      group, the Overtones?

               THE OTHER GUYS IN THE LOCKER ROOM REACT TO THE CONVERSATION
               AND MOVE AWAY FURTIVELY.

                                   FULLER

                      The separatist lesbian quartet? 

                      Dude, no friggin' way!

                                   BUCKY

                      Dude, all four of 'em, in order,

                      from lowest to highest!  Sang me a

                      friggin' lullaby afterwards!

                                   FULLER

                      Rock-a-bye, baby!  Dude, that's

                      totally amazing!  But dude, do you

                      remember that Catholic convent in

                      Boston?

                                   BUCKY

                      Sister Maria's Church of the Well

                      Crossed Knees?  Dude!  No friggin'

                      way!

                                   FULLER

                      Dude, all one hundred forty-eight of

                      them nuns!  Mother Superior gave me

                      her rosary afterwards!  

                                   BUCKY

                      Surely I will come quickly, Amen! 

                      Dude, that's totally amazing!  But

                      dude, do you remember last month,

                      when we went to Georgia?

                                   FULLER

                      The nation's top poultry-producing

                      state?  Dude!  No friggin' way!

                                   BUCKY

                      Every female over the age of

                      eighteen inside the state lines!  At

                      the Omni in Atlanta!

                                   FULLER
                          (Makes a face)

                      Dude!  Like, senior citizens too?

                                   BUCKY
                          (Thinks)

                      They did the wave from the cheap

                      seats!

                                   FULLER

                      Dude!  That's totally amazing!  You

                      know, I don't think there's a female

                      on this planet who's immune to us!

               THE LOCKER ROOM IS EMPTY EXCEPT FOR BUCKY AND FULLER.  THEY
               NOTICE THE SUDDEN SILENCE.

                                   BUCKY

                      Dude.  Are you, like, thinking what

                      I'm thinking?

                                   FULLER

                      Dude!

               BUCKY JUMPS ARTFULLY ONTO FULLER.  THEY ROLL ON THE FLOOR,
               FLAILING AND KISSING.

                                                               CUT TO:

               EXT. GYMNASIUM - DAY
                (BUCKY, FULLER)

               PORN-STYLE, WOCKA-WOCKA GUITAR LICKS MIX WITH THE SOUNDS OF
               BUCKY AND FULLER GETTING IT ON!

                                   BUCKY (V.O.)

                      Oh, dude, that's amazing, dude ...

                                   FULLER (V.O.)

                      Dude ... Oh, totally, amazing ...

                                                        FADE TO BLACK.