My core mistake was not the lying and cheating, though that clearly was a mistake.

My core mistake was trying to keep up an illusion of fidelity, when my wife didn’t want me.

I thought her good opinion, and yours, and everyone else’s, was worth the sacrifice to my honor.

As it turned out though, not one of you was there for me when I tried to kill myself.

I have wasted far, far too much of my life trying to please people who care nothing for me.

And that includes you, dear reader.

Trying to please and comfort lovers, acquaintances, and strangers, who don’t care whether I live or die — THAT was my core mistake.

So, for the past few years, the only honor and dignity I have been trying to recover, has been in my own eyes.

I will never again live my life in a manner intended to please strangers and acquaintances. Our culture is evil, self-interested, fickle, and sadistic, and I regret that I have spent so long trying to earn its perverse favor.

I will, however, be honest, and fair, and competent, creative, and trustworthy.