You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life

Ten years ago I had an office conversation with a woman who was, at that time, about sixty-five. She said, “I wish I were your age again, but I wish I knew Life’s Lessons.” You could hear the Capitalization, in her Voice, when she Said It.

I said, “Save me some time. What are Life’s Lessons?”

She smiled beatifically and said, “Ah. Life’s Lessons. I can’t tell you. You have to figure them out for yourself.” And she turned back to her typewriter.

Now, ten years later, I am about to save you some time. I’m going to cut through the sage bullshit and tell you the Life’s Lessons that I’ve figured out, up until this point.

• If you don’t know how to do something, start by copying someone who does it well.
• It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.
• God exists, though God is not what you think.
• If you’re not pissing someone off, you’re not doing it right.
• Don’t believe the reviews.
• Update: When in doubt, love or hate.